This has been an interesting week, and we’re only halfway through. Over the weekend, we found out our youngest son, who has been struggling in school has slipped further. Monday brought a meeting that challenged those of us who write, blog and do video to go “all in” for our profession and see where that takes us. Tuesday was a lovely Fat Tuesday lunch with my sister in law and mini celebration with my family, which brings us to today. Today begins a new month, a creativity bootcamp and Lent. For me, this is like the holy trinity of new energy. I love each of these events for the promise of positive energy and a clean slate of sorts, so of course I woke up with a headache. I decided to sleep in, which is rare for me, but about 30 minutes later the thunder, lightning and hail jolted me awake, and I knew there was no going back to sleep. Luckily the headache was gone, so I sat down and began to organize myself to go all in creatively for the two week bootcamp and beyond when my husband texted me that there was some water in one corner of the basement but not to worry about it. Being the type that likes to see things for myself, I headed down to take a look and found water in all four corners of the basement, and I felt so defeated in that moment, I nearly gave up on the day, the bootcamp and my writing career. I know, it sounds dramatic, but I wanted this day to be perfect and so far, it looked like the Divine was telling me in no uncertain terms that the drudgery of life was going to be the focus rather than the joy of creating. This is not good for a person who lives to create.
You see, I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was 12, and I am a writer. I wanted to write and publish books and I have, but I’ve never made a career out of writing. I’ve made a career out of being a wife and mother and household manager, and I’ve loved it, but something else is calling to me now. I still want to be all those things, and while many are longing to wrap up their paid careers, I’m looking to dive into mine, but every time I make a commitment to move forward, I feel like something drags me back, whether it’s my son needing help with his academics, the basement flooding or even keeping up with the housework, something always seems to be pulling me away from the writing. This morning I was nearly ready to give up, but the pictures that go with this post tell the story of today and illustrate the stories we sometimes see and don’t understand as well as the ones we tell ourselves that might not be as true as we think they are. Follow along and see what you think.
The first picture in this post shows the torrential downpour of the storm that jolted me awake. The second and third are the hail on my porch, and I couldn’t bring myself to take pictures of the water in my basement. I got pretty wound up in my pity party and was ready to throw in the proverbial towel for the creativity bootcamp even though it hadn’t started yet. Fortunately, I have this amazing husband that talks me off the edge in these situations. He reminded me that my writing is important, not financially yet, but to my overall well-being, “so write,” he said. It wasn’t his permission that I needed. It was his perspective. I was willing to throw away the things that give me joy to face my perceived obligations, which would have made my mood worse and the stumbling blocks look bigger than they were. It’s just a little water, and it’s an inconvenience, so there it stays until the fans in the basement help dry it up.
The second set of pictures involves my breakfast. In the creativity bootcamp, we are supposed to create every day and share with the group. I figured that even if I couldn’t get something written, I could create a beautiful breakfast plate for myself on this meatless Ash Wednesday. I know the breakfast is a bit unconventional, but if you know me, that’s no surprise, and I am proud of the meal I created. I am more proud that I managed to add a bit of parsley to ramp up the visual appeal, a little thing, but creatively it means growth in my photography skills. I framed the plate and placemat to look as beautiful as I could and snapped the picture. I like the way it turned out, but the best part happened when I sat down to eat. I started laughing because while I’m happy with the beautiful breakfast picture, it’s part of a larger story of the mess on my kitchen table and the chaos in my life. It doesn’t tell the story of my life. It tells the story of an intentionally created breakfast, and it’s a tiny piece of my life, but if you only looked at that plate, you might think everything in my life was perfectly peachy and it isn’t, so I decided to show the whole scene, and I am proud of that as well because social media can be such a mind trip that only shows the breakfast plate rather than the whole table, and we don’t even get a glimpse of the basement. This is how some people live their lives as well. They put on the perfect façade and won’t let anyone see the messes. Others parade the messes and forget to look for the perfection, when in truth, most of us, not all, are somewhere in between. So, here I sit, writing a blog post instead of cleaning my basement, taking a shower, cleaning my house or even going to the grocery for some much needed supplies (we’re using the travel shampoo bottles y’all). We made it through this morning’s storms, and as I was writing, the sun came out and I stopped to take a picture of the beautiful blue sky, with the fallen limbs and the neighbor’s work truck cropped out.
I’m figuring out that going “all in” for March, creativity bootcamp and Lent isn’t about doing anything perfectly. It’s about doing the things that matter most and figuring out exactly what matters most in any given minute. I’m reminded of the Zig Ziglar quote that if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting, so I’m doing things differently this month. I’ll be creating every day and posting as much as I can, and if I’m not perfect, I’ll forgive myself, but I’ll also hold myself to making my best effort every day and seeing where that will take me. While that may not make sense to some, I know it will make perfect sense to my fellow creatives. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends, follow the Facebook pages or join me on Twitter or Instagram, and as always, thanks for being you and have a great day.