Do you ever have a moment when you just hate yourself? I’m taking a course to improve my blog, and I’m confronting some things I hate about myself right now. I hate that I’m tech challenged. I hate feeling stupid. I hate being afraid that the writing career I want so badly might not happen. I hate that I’ve written three books and still don’t feel like a writer. I hate that I’ve been blogging for seven years, and it’s still just a hobby. I hate that I set a goal to launch a new blog on May 1st and I don’t feel ready to do that. Most of all, I hate that feeling like this makes me want to run to the pantry and eat every chip, pretzel and salty, crunchy snack so I don’t have to feel like this anymore, at least until I get on the scale in the morning. It’s amazing how bad we can make ourselves feel sometimes.
What I want is to be one of those women who appear to be incredibly put together; thin, beautiful, fit, excellent at their profession, amazing mothers and adored by friends, family and co-workers. They are women who seem to have it all, and I want to be one of them. Instead, I’m an overweight mother of three almost grown children who is struggling to make blogging a career, keep up with my home and family and keep my sanity at the same time. You know, this could turn into quite the pity party if I let it, and for a little while I did because sometimes we need to vent. We need to let our insecurities bubble up, so we can confront them and find out what is true and what story we’re replaying to keep us stuck in garbage thinking mode. I don’t know about you, but I detest garbage thinking mode and the self-sabotaging it can lead to.
So, here’s what I did. I got some chips out of the pantry and reminded myself that I could eat them if I choose, or I could remember that my son’s wedding is in three and a half months and choose to let the chips go unopened, which I did. I remembered the spiritual workbook journey I started this week; the one I’ve done two other times and how amazed I was when I looked at the goals I set two and four years ago and how many we achieved. Because I’m a person of faith, I thought if the Divine brings me to a challenge, there’s most certainly a way through it, and that way is rarely a straight path. Most importantly, I reminded myself that those women I aspire to be like may have challenges of their own I know nothing about, and even if they don’t, their life lessons are not mine, so it’s best to leave them alone because my journey is not near as bad as garbage thinking mode wants me to think it is.
While I’m not near as tech savvy as I want to be, I have contacts that are quite tech savvy and are willing to help when I need them. I have a clear enough voice that I have written three books and several blog posts that can help me create valuable content for my readers. I have friends and family that love me, sometimes more than I love myself. And I’m currently taking a blog course that is challenging me to face my insecurities so that I can be a more successful writer. When I started this blog post, I thought I hated myself. What I’ve come to learn is that I don’t hate myself. Rather, I’ve been given multiple ways to improve myself through this challenging course, but it was easier to hate myself and those successful people rather than face the challenge of learning and growing. So, I’ve issued a 30 day challenge to myself, and I’m inviting you to join me. We all have things in our life that, if we did them, would empower us to live better. Maybe you have a closet to clean out. Maybe you have stacks of paper to file or shred. Maybe you have photos to organize, a garage to clean out, a garden to plan and plant or a book to write. Whatever it is, you know if you follow through you will be thrilled to accomplish it and a huge weight would disappear from your life. I have several areas I would like to improve; one current and one future blog, a body to get more fit, photos to organize and a garden to plant. There are more, but that will happen in another challenge.
I learned about this challenge from Lucrecer Braxton at a social media seminar by Dooley Media. Lucrecer said that if you will go “all in” for 30 days, you will amaze yourself with what you can create and how you can grow in those 30 days. She admitted it wouldn’t be easy, but assured us it would definitely be worth it, so I’m counting on that and diving in. Where could you be in 30 days? I invite you to find out. Even if you spend a mere fifteen minutes per day, in 30 days you will have invested over seven hours into improving your life, and I am willing to bet you will feel very good about yourself. If you follow Where Karen Goes on Facebook, I’ll post about progress there and will update with blog posts too. Are you willing to join me and see how much you can accomplish in 30 days? Are you willing to try even if there are days that you might miss? Are you willing to change your life for a minimum of fifteen minutes per day? I am, and would love to have you join me to go “all in” for the next 30 days. Leave a comment to share how you will challenge yourself, and as always, thanks for being you and have a great day.